First Editions

NUDGE NUDGE, WINK WINK - ANYONE WANT TO BE PUT ON TO A GOOD THING?

Here’s a fascinating little thought, brethren.

It crossed my mind that one day I might become rich and famous and have enough in the bank to afford a second copy of my books and then I wondered if it might be only right and proper to give the rest of my fellow men a chance to share in my good fortune so I have made a monumental decision and this is going to tickle the fancy of any collectors out there.

At the moment all of my books are the first edition. There has been no professionally printed version before them. The only hardcopies have been double-spaced on A4 for my own use, and to send, if requested, to agents and publishers.

Now I know that collectors of printed matter drool at the prospect of owning a first edition.

Even first editions of books printed in huge quantities rapidly earn a premium value. But my books aren’t going to be printed in huge quantities.

Not ever.

For as long as it is printed by Lulu the first edition is going to be limited to 100 copies and thereafter it will be withdrawn and the same text reappear as a second edition, with a changed cover and additional text, and the imprint 2nd Edition somewhere on it.

So anyone buying a copy of any one of my many titles will know that they are buying one of a very limited edition.

I can only forsee two possible reasons for this offer to be reneged on.

One, I might pass on to that great big bookshop in the sky and in the confusion it might be temporarily forgotten by my offspring who I will depend on to carry out my schemes – and I pray that doesn’t happen yet awhile.

Or Two, it might reach, for example, 99 sales and somebody might order two – which will take the total above the hundred.

In the unlikely event of my works gaining any kind of popular status anyone owning a first edition will have his or her hand on gold. Hip hip hooray!

I'll do the whole job properly. I'll keep proper accounts showing how many of each book has been sold (including those bought by me). The totals will exclude downloads, of course, which don't have a cover. It'll be fascinating for me to see if I ever need to work on the second edition!!

This is not intended as a means of selling more books for the sake of it but of trying to stimulate a little interest in work that has taken years for me to create.

It is almost (but not quite) a matter of indifference to me whether my books sell or not. I am contented that they have been created in the first place and that decades of lonely effort have a physical representation in the single copies I keep on my book shelf.

But there's nothing to be lost by embracing the rest of humanity and trying to put them on to a good thing.

Aren't I always good to you?